Putting Yourself First: How to Create Balance and Protect Your Wellbeing
Do you ever feel like you’re constantly doing things for others but losing yourself in the process?
This can be common at busy times like Christmas, but for many, it’s a year-round struggle. Over-giving, putting others first, and feeling guilty about taking time for yourself can leave you feeling drained, stressed, and emotionally exhausted.
The good news? You don’t have to keep living this way. By recognising these patterns and learning to prioritise your own needs, you can create balance, protect your energy, and reclaim your sense of self.
Are you over-giving?
It can be good for our wellbeing to give something that benefits others. However, when giving turns to over-giving it can take a toll. Over-giving can show up in ways you might recognise:
• Always prioritising others’ needs over your own.
• Struggling to say ‘no’ without feeling guilty.
• Feeling responsible for other people’s happiness or problems.
• Sacrificing your own wellbeing to avoid conflict or keep the peace.
While it’s natural to care about the people in your life, constantly putting yourself last can lead to stress, burnout, and resentment. Over time, it becomes harder to identify what you need and want because you’re so focused on everyone else.
Why it’s time to break the cycle.
Over-giving doesn’t just affect your emotional health, it can take a toll on your physical wellbeing and relationships, too. Constantly prioritising others can lead to:
• Physical symptoms: Stress, fatigue, headaches, or even chronic illness.
• Emotional exhaustion: Feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or burnt out.
• Unbalanced relationships: Where one person is always giving and the other is always taking.
Breaking free from this pattern allows you to:
• Reconnect with your own needs and passions.
• Build healthier, more balanced relationships.
• Protect your energy and live a more fulfilling life.
5 steps to prioritise yourself:
1. Start with self-awareness
The first step is recognising when you’re over-giving. Notice moments when you:
• Say ‘yes’ to something you don’t have the energy for.
• Feel responsible for solving someone else’s problems.
• Ignore your own needs to keep someone else happy.
Pause and ask yourself: What am I feeling right now? What do I need?
2. Set Boundaries.
Boundaries are not selfish, they’re necessary for protecting your time, energy, and emotional health. Start small by saying ‘no’ to something that feels overwhelming or by carving out time in your day just for you.
It might feel uncomfortable at first, but setting boundaries is an act of self-respect that teaches others how to treat you.
3. Let go of what you can’t control.
You can care deeply about others without taking on their pain or trying to ‘fix’ their problems. Recognising what’s outside your control frees up your energy to focus on what you can change, your own choices and wellbeing.
Ask yourself: Am I helping because I want to, or because I feel I have to?
4. Make self-care a priority.
Self-care isn’t about being indulgent, it’s about meeting your basic emotional and physical needs. This might mean:
• Getting enough rest.
• Taking time for activities that recharge you.
• Protecting your time and saying ‘no’ to things that drain you.
Remind yourself: My needs matter just as much as everyone else’s.
5. Focus on balanced relationships.
Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and support, not one person doing all the giving. You don’t have to ‘fix’ anyone to be loved or valued.
True connection comes from being your authentic self, not from sacrificing your needs to make someone else happy.
This Christmas, give yourself the gift of balance.
Christmas often brings extra pressure to do it all, make everyone happy, keep the peace, and say ‘yes’ to everything. But this year, if you recognise you’ve been over-giving, why not try something different?
Start prioritising you. Set boundaries, honour your needs, and let go of the pressure to please everyone. Each step you take toward balance is a step toward living a more authentic, fulfilling life.
If you’re ready to reclaim your energy and wellbeing, I can help. Health and Wellbeing Coaching offers the tools, support, and guidance you need to create the balance you deserve, not just over Christmas, but every day.
Contact me to learn more and start your journey:
simone@simonesearcoach.co.uk